Cat Haiku:by various authors
In the morning light You sleep despite my meow. I stand on your face.
You must scratch me there! Yes, above my tail! Behold, elevator butt.
The rule for today: Touch my tail, I shred your hand. New rule tomorrow.
Litter box not there You must have moved it again I’ll crap on the floor.
We’re almost equals I purr to show I love you Want to smell my butt?
Oriental rugs A basket of clean laundry Places to be sick.
I like watching squirrels I chirp at them but mostly I want to taste them
Your mouth is moving Up and down, emitting noise. I've lost interest.
Oh no! my Human has been trapped by newspaper! Cat to the rescue!
The dog wags his tail, Seeking approval. See mine? Different message.
My brain: walnut-sized. Yours: largest among primates. Yet, who leaves for work
My affection is conditional. Don't stand up, It's your lap I love.
Cats can't steal the breath Of children. But if my tail's Pulled again, I'll learn.
I don't mind being Teased, any more than you mind A skin graft or two.
So you call this thing Your cat carrier. I call These my blades of death.
Toy mice, dancing yarn Meowing sounds. I'm convinced: You're an idiot.
Terrible battle. I fought for hours. Come and see! What's a 'term paper'?
Am I in your way? You seem to have it backwards: This pillow’s taken.