Cat Haiku:

by various authors

In the morning light
You sleep despite my meow.
I stand on your face.

You must scratch me there!
Yes, above my tail! Behold,
elevator butt.

The rule for today:
Touch my tail, I shred your hand.
New rule tomorrow.

Litter box not there
You must have moved it again
I’ll crap on the floor.

We’re almost equals
I purr to show I love you
Want to smell my butt?

Oriental rugs
A basket of clean laundry
Places to be sick.

I like watching squirrels
I chirp at them but mostly
I want to taste them

Your mouth is moving
Up and down, emitting noise.
I've lost interest.

Oh no! my Human
has been trapped by newspaper!
Cat to the rescue!

The dog wags his tail,
Seeking approval. See mine?
Different message.

My brain: walnut-sized.
Yours: largest among primates.
Yet, who leaves for work

My affection is conditional.
Don't stand up,
It's your lap I love.

Cats can't steal the breath
Of children. But if my tail's
Pulled again, I'll learn.

I don't mind being
Teased, any more than you mind
A skin graft or two.

So you call this thing
Your cat carrier. I call
These my blades of death.

Toy mice, dancing yarn
Meowing sounds.
I'm convinced: You're an idiot.

Terrible battle.
I fought for hours. Come and see!
What's a 'term paper'?

Am I in your way?
You seem to have it backwards:
This pillow’s taken.

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