Kirsten (Julie Austin) and her friends Brooke (Laura Lichstein) and Amy (Stacey Dye) are basically normal teenagers. One night they decide to have an anti-Christmas ritual in the forest. During the ritual Kirsten accidentally slices her hand causing blood to drip on the forest floor. After the girls leave the Earth opens and a demonic elf comes out of the ground.
Mike McGavin (Dan Haggerty) is a down and out former police detective. He is a recovering alcoholic looking for a job. He visits his former friend, Hugh Reed (Michael Tatlock), but is turned away until the store Santa Claus gets murdered. Mike gets the job of store Santa. Mike then gets evicted from his trailer so he decides to spend the night at the store’s storage room until he can figure out what to do about housing.
Kirsten lives with her horrible mother (Deanna Lund), her equally horrible ex-Nazi grandfather (Borah Silver), and her little brother, Willy (Christopher Graham). Kirsten works at the department store. She and her friends decide to party at the store after hours when they run into Mike. Mike and the girls agree to not tell on each other.
Meanwhile, at Kirsten’s house a group of Nazis show up to talk to Kirsten’s grandfather. The grandfather had been part of an occult experiment during the Third Reich. The Nazis were fascinated with Elves. They believed that Elves were created to form a master race when they were mated with genetically perfect Aryan virgins. The elf is supposed to mate with the virgin on Christmas Eve to create the master race. Kirsten is the incestuous product of her mother and her grandfather. This meant that he created his own perfect genetic Aryan line. Since then, the grandfather has repented his involvement with the experiment but the other Nazis plan on finishing it.
Mike becomes involved when the Nazis break into the store and start shooting up the place. Ever the detective, he visits Dr. Fitzpatrick (Allen Lee) at the library and Professor O’Conner (Paul Rohrer) from the local college to learn about the Elf legend and Nazi plan. Mike decides he must protect Kirsten from the Nazis as well as the rampaging elf before their evil plan can be executed.
“Elves” was released in 1989 and was directed by Jeffrey Mandel. It is an American horror movie and a Christmas film.
This is probably one of the strangest premises I’ve ever seen. Everything about the movie is just nuts. Among the bad acting, dialogue and strange cuts is one really strange plot. Plot holes add to the nonsense, even the plot hole regarding the twist at the end. Add to that a fanged evil elf creature that can barely move and looks more like a prop than a monster. The movie is a bologna and cheese sandwich and lots of ridiculous fun.
Nazi arrogance is amazing. According to the Nazis, you can’t kill a soldier elf. How do you really think you are going to control an army of super soldier elves that you can’t kill?
There is only one elf in “Elves”.